Christmas Time

            Everybody seems to be getting in the Christmas spirit now. It’s not December yet, but who gives a shit...enjoy the moment. Speaking of which, my sales have been doing really well (I say sales in conjunction with the holiday because no one associates Christmas with any theological event any longer, but rather with economic growth). I have a few stories on line, and the ones present have sold nicely. They are economically priced, so stop by bn.com and search my name (oh, and my stories are horror stories; I did not writer the book with a barn on the cover. I know very little about barns save for the fact that they store shit).

            I managed to locate the files for the pics I originally used as cover images and sent them to Holly. It was harder than I thought (locating them), but I managed to get them together, save for two. They are sitting safely out west now, awaiting their artist to turn them into awesome looking covers. I can’t wait to see what they become.

            There is a Writer’s Digest short, short story competition coming up soon, and I think I am going to submit again. I entered “Death Immortal” last year (it’s for sale at bn.com), but apparently they did not like my shorts (that was their slogan last year, ‘show us your shorts’…. Don’t ask me). I have some ideas, but am always open to new suggestions. If you have a good idea and are too lazy to write it yourself, send it my way via a comment at the bottom. I could use the help, though you won’t get any royalties from the work….life sucks, what can I say. Seriously, feel free to submit a suggestion in the comments below.

            I’m going to go and buy a pizza now. Thanks for reading…

A Writer's Dreams

            I had a lovely day-dream today that my story sold, and I was offered over a million dollars to write, and I moved to the south of Italy and owned a vineyard to supplement my income, and….then I woke up and realized I was in the kitchen, pushing around a shitty cart! At least the cakes looked and smelled really awesome. Writers dream, and dream and dream; you get the pictures. Without your dreams, you have shit, sometimes quite literally. Dreams are more than just happy thoughts; often, they are the fuel which propels us to attempt a goal. You may not succeed, but at least you tried. That is the motto of this endeavor. Now, enough of this motivational crap.

            The pictures I used for my short stories will be heading to Holly soon. I can’t wait to see what she does with them. I have not had much time to do any writing-related things today, but I can report my blog has experienced an upsurge of hits (views, readings, laughs; however you want to measure advancement). I will have the FB page up soon, and will move into the web from there. I have an awesome location selected for some pics, and will most likely go this weekend to take them.

            Anyone have any thoughts on the use of a pseudonym? Many writers use a pen-name, and I am debating the use of one. Leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts. I can’t decide either way. Feel free to leave appropriate names for my use (please, no Jack Sparrow, Captain Kirk or Barney). Also, if you like the blog, feel free to like the link to it on Facebook. I would like it, but that would only make me an ass hole.

            Thanks for reading!

Post-Thanksgiving Blog

            “And I will give you daily updates on my progress…..” Ok, so I haven’t been excelling in the daily routine…sue me! It’s the holiday season, and I was out ‘holidaying.’ All kidding aside, I am sorry. I have been out of town lately and have not been able to construct any blogs (not that much has happened, or that anyone would dare to surrender their turkey legs to the clutches of the table guests in order to read my blog). I had a lovely and special Thanksgiving holiday; my hope is that yours was the same.

            As I said, I was out of town visiting family, and while there, I was able to correspond with my photographer cousin, Holly, who will be working with me on covers and such. It was fun to sit down with her and go over some of my works, and share my visions with her in regards to designs. She is a brilliant artist and published on book and CD covers in Europe. At only 17 years old, Holly is a bit of a prodigy, and I am honored to work with her. She opened her imagination on my latest work, Bleodsian and how she was envisioning the cover. When the pictures are received, I will most certainly post them for you all to view. We spent a good deal of time collaborating; it was damned creative and really cool! Look for a future link to her flickr page at the right.

            My sales continue to increase on PubIt.com. If you go to bn.com (Barnes and Noble), search for my name and you will find some of my short stories. In the next few weeks they each will receive a new cover (that reminds me, I need to get those pics to Holly). I have another artist with whom I will be working; look for his introduction later.

            I read a lot more about the almighty ‘platform’ (you tired of hearing that word? Me too!) I have a lot more work to do, but it seems I have done very well so far, at least according to the guidelines for platform building. I am moving along steadily. The pictures will be the next great effort on our part. This coming weekend I also plan to do a mini-photo shoot for self-portraits. Look for those in the next few days.

            Alright, I’m tired and you are too. Go to bed….

Another One for the Quest

            So, I believe I am really becoming an underground success…….I had yet another person comment on my blog writing today. That makes two people, yes two, the number between one and three; the number of political parties in the US; the average length of the attention span measure in minutes. Stop laughing you little shits, I can hear that! You think you can do better, be my guest. Anyways, this individual said they would certainly follow my blog because it was “interesting.” Another one for the quest! If you have any other friends who might think this interesting, send them my way, please. I need to pay the rent….

            I’ve been checking out some sites through twitter and found both an awesome gothic writers site and one for horror writers. Here I am in my glory! The HWA (Horror Writers Association) seems to be an awesome resource. I still need to read on about joining, as you have to be published (I have e-books), but I don’t know if they consider that publication or not. Need to find out.

            You all are probably wondering just when I’m going to submit my book, right? No doubt everyone is thinking, “I wish he’d shut up and submit.” And you are right in saying that. I do need to submit, but not before I’ve had a chance to read over the first few pages again. Why? Oh, that’s easy: SO THE EDITORS WON’T WIPE THEIR ASSES WITH MY BOOK! In the holy grail of magazines (the Writer’s Yearbook 2012) I read a wonderful article on why editors don’t make it through the first page. Now I’m scared shitless about turning it in. Is it my best work? Will they find it imaginative enough to read on? Will they mail it back to me with a photoshoped middle finger enclosed in the package? I don’t know, and I don’t want to find out. The book needs more work. So, if you are waiting for the submission date, hang tight. It’s coming soon.

            In closing (this is my academic nature prevailing) I am going to focus on editing (again) the first few pages of the book, and will continue to advertise and promote my blog on-line. Thanks for hanging in there, and tell your friends (only if you like this crazy crap; if you hate it, please keep it to yourself).

Another entry

            I worked today, not on writing, but at my job, so I have little to report as far as the publishing process goes. I’m still moving along slowly. Sometimes, it feels like I am moving backwards with this endeavor. I see what has to be done, I know what to write, but I do not have the time to devote to it. I suppose this is the story of every writer. Certainly not alone in this matter.

            On another note, I worked an event today aside a cow pasture. Yes, I said that correctly, a cow pasture. Don’t laugh, it’s true. It was a memorial service on the family’s farm. The weather was pretty, but very breezy, so everything blew around violently. It went well, though we were late in leaving.

            I’m trying to mentally organize everything I have to do for the next few days in regards to publication. With the holidays coming, I don’t know how much of my time will be put towards all I have to do. Hopefully I can squeeze in a day or two here and there for some further editing and such. Let’s hope.

            Ok, I am done for now.

Day Three (the titles will get better, I promise)

            Long day, and I am unusually tired. I’ve mentioned my blog to many people today, and some expressed interest. I had a good number of hits on it yesterday. Thanks, everyone. It makes me feel like a small piece of shit only. I appreciate that.

            So, as I was shaving this morning, I was mentally designing book covers in my head. The covers came great, but I sliced the hell out of my face! I need to get an education on cover designing before I can launch Bleodsian. I want it to have an awesome look (since the book is damned wonderful!). I have a friend who might be able to assist me. It seems a corps group of people have formed around me, people ranging from editors to artists and photographers. It is a good assemblage of people, and I believe they all may be very useful to this “mighty endeavor.”

            I had my first compliment on my blog yesterday. It came from a manager at work, and that person said it was both funny and intelligent. I said he had no sense of humor. That’s how we roll at work! It was exciting, to say the least. People are actually reading what I write; never thought I’d see the day. Let’s hope you all continue to enjoy it, and I can keep my wit and humor going (this shit is not easy, you know).

            In other news, here’s what’s on the radar for the next few weeks. I have a “photo shoot” with my photographer cousin over the Thanksgiving holiday. She is published on book covers and now a music CD, and has a wonderful talent for things photographic. I am still working on my platform (the platform is your advertising campaign. Things like facebook, twitter, blogs, etc. are all part of it.) I have the twitter account opened (said that yesterday) and I’ve used it (holy shit!). Once I have the new pics, I will focus on opening a fanpage on FB. I have some experience with such pages, but I will most likely publish three or four blog rants about the bastard project before it is finished. Stayed tuned for more laughs! While all this is going on, the book cover will be coming together. I’m tired just thinking about it. I work hard all day; why do I do this to myself? Am I sadistic?

            Ok, so that’s my next few weeks. While the rest of you are out enjoying your holiday season, think of me, locked away in my tower with only a candle for light and a rat for company – his name is Demetrius – and a whole load of documents, pics, magazines and scraps of ideas laying before me. Alright, you got me: most of this crap is electronic today, so I’ll be sitting in front of my computer a lot, trying to fight to urge to watch youtube……don’t laugh, you do it too!

            I’m done for tonight. Thanks for reading.

           

The Second Blog

            I read from the “Writer’s Yearbook 2012” (insert god-like voice here) last night. I found it at Barnes and Noble, and it’s been pretty good so far. I learned a great deal, and had some very nice laughing and crying moments. You see, writing is not just sitting in front of a computer typing; no, its’ much more entertaining. Unlike you unfortunate folks who get to trudge through life believing you are wonderful, we writers have numerous articles and editorial reviews to tell us what pieces of shit we are. I wake up in the morning and I don’t think “you know, its’ gonna be a good day.” No, I get up and I think, ‘Shit, here we go again.” But we are not as pessimistic as you might think. We simply hear how horrible we are much more than you.

            But anyways, its dreary outside, the Presidential dinner has been moved to the PDR, and I’m still in my bathrobe at 10:33 a.m. Life is good. Oh, and it seems a quote from last night’s blog is deemed worthy enough to be placed on a bumper sticker. That’s cool.

            I have a twitter account. Never thought I would get one, but now the little darling is mine, and I’ve posted on it twice. It’s actually kind of cool, and almost as fun as facebook (the old FB, not the new crappy version that hoodie-wearing idiot threw-up on us all). I have some groups and people I follow, but no followers of my own yet; hint, hint. Check it out also, as I will be posting my woes there as well.

            Alright, unlike professional writers who have nothing but time, I have to get ready to go to work now and earn a living.

            “Shit, here we go again…..”

Behold, the next Phase

            It has been just over four months since I posted my last blog here. When I started the blogging endeavor, I thought it would be beneficial for any writers to hear the words of wisdom from a fellow writer. I am past that now. In fact, you’re on your own! Your work is most likely beyond repair, so quit while you are ahead. Why so cruel, Robert? The reason is that I’m ready to send off my latest novella, and I want no competition from you, so stay away from the publishers and we’ll get along just fine! Hah Hah!

            I am indeed ready to send off Bleodsian, but I have a lot of work to do before hand (marketing, web page development, etc.). I thought it would be entertaining for all of you to follow along with my progress as I endure endless critiques, web page and book cover design, photo shoots and marketing research, not to mention the actual process of editorial submission. We may laugh, we may cry together. Actually, you all will laugh your way through this while I beat my brain against the wall! Remember me in your novenas nightly. I will post daily on my progress, and if I have nothing to report, I will lie about it and spout off something intelligent anyways.

             I am willing to take you along on this journey, provided you wear your seatbelt and keep your hands and legs inside the vehicle at all times (small children under 48 inches are not permitted). You may have sensed my dry sense of humor – if you have not, my sincerest prayers go to those who have to live with you on a daily basis.

             This is my journey, my little bit of literally exploration; if you follow me, you won’t get a prize, you won’t gain notoriety, and you will most certainly have to shower at least thrice a week – I’m a writer, not a barbarian. Take along only the most necessary items and fill your pockets with utensils, please leave the contraceptives. You will, however, get a good daily laugh at my expense, as I stumble from one obstacle to another. Blogs are boring, so I will make this as painless as I can, like the Republican debates (you don’t even need to activate your brain to watch them).

            If you’re still there reading and haven’t fallen asleep, good job. I dozed off twice. And so, without fanfare, I present to you the comedy “Robert vs. the book world.”

            Please stay tuned for further posts……