Short Story Contests

            It was perhaps two to three years ago that I became intensely interested in short story contests. I thought they would be a great means of getting my work discovered and published. I also thought it would be a means of some sustenance, albeit minimal (we are speaking of short fiction here. If you want big money, write big books! If you want to be a poor literary artist, keep to what you are doing). After researching several sites and competitions, I found the ones which seemed promising and submitted my works. Here I present to you now a few thoughts on contests:

            Here is a more detailed account of how the process actually works: you search for hours, reading every jot and tittle on the site, then realize the contest just might prove fruitful. You read where the word count can be no greater than five-thousand words if you want to submit the work for fewer than twenty dollars. Next, you hunt through all of your manuscripts hoping for a “short” short story, only to realize in your wild writing delirium you wrote all your tales to be 5500 plus words! Damnit. You select your best piece, print it out (on your own printer; more money incurred), then begrudgingly wrap it up with the check for $20 (one ms only; don’t think you will get two little works in for that price), and send it off. If you are religious, you pray. If not, you go home and stare at the wall until it begins to call your name.

            Your little bundle of joy arrives at the office, and the first thing the judges do is open it, look at it, and recognize your name. They remember the last piece of s… you sent them, so they laugh and pass it around so everyone can take a sheet, roll it and smoke it. They save the title page so they can at least remember who you are, then scribble off some email to you about how brilliant your work was, and how wonderful a writer you are, but also how there are more brilliant and more successful contestants in existence and you are not among them. They advise you to try again in the future, which in English means: keep the f… away!

            So you read your little email message, quietly shut down your computer, turn up Metallica really loud, and pick up your volume of The Catcher in the Rye  and think, ‘you know, it’s going to be a good day after all…”

           

I have a strange sense of humor, as you have clearly seen. This little piece was meant as a comical exercise, and I hope it brought a smile to your face. I do still submit pieces to various contests, and have, as of yet, met with no success. It is the way the game is played. My advice to you, always keep trying and never give up. As a writer you must develop thick skin and become intimately acquainted with rejection. For every rejection, however, there is an acceptance, so keep trying. I submit when I have time (and when it is not too expensive). I earnestly hope I will win at some competition, but the time will come; even if it doesn’t, I still tried. And if you do not win (like me) you can always write a funny scenario about it (like me) and post on your blog (like me) hoping someone somewhere will read it and think, ‘you know, it’s going to be a good day after all…’.